A World Apart
by Lyndotia
Summary: Lyn is determined to coerce Reneey into playing Final Fantasy 7, but what happens when Reneey revolts and the TV screen starts to do weird things? Lots of crack and randomness. Insert-characters-into-game-world, you've been warned!
1. Saving Pencil Larry

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or any of its characters. I do, however, own Lyn, and Reneey belongs to Reneey Umbra.

A/N: I blame myself and my Final Fantasy obsession for this one. Reneey's only here because… well, because I'm obsessed. XD And since I go along with all of her random obsessions, I made her go along with one of mine this time. Even though she's never played FF7 and probably never will. (Poor girl, huh? -shakes head-)

You've been forewarned that it's an insert-character-into-the-FF7-world story, so don't go randomly flaming about how it's ruining the whole game. If you don't like it, don't read. It's that simple, folks.

* * *

**Chapter One -- Saving Pencil Larry**

"But I don't wannaaaa," Reneey Umbra complained as her best friend Lyn shoved her down into the huge, comfy chair in Lyn's room and forced a PlayStation controller into her hands.

"Tough!" Lyn snapped, hitting the power button on her ancient original PlayStation and keeping a firm hold on the black eyeliner pen in her left hand. "Larry goes bye-bye if you refuse to play!"

"Don't threaten Larry!" Reneey growled.

"Don't knock it before you've freaking tried it!" Lyn shot back, crossing her arms and watching the Sony emblem show up onscreen.

Reneey whined something incoherent, but Lyn rolled her eyes. Then the opening song came on and Reneey blinked. "Dude, that sounds like Death Note music!"

Lyn blinked, too. "Yeah, it kind of does," she said with a mixture of surprise and amusement in her voice. "Random, but awesome. Anyway, push new game!"

"What button do I click?"

"The one that looks like a red circle."

"But I wanna push the green one!"

"The green one's a triangle, it doesn't do anything on this screen! Push the red circle!"

"But I wanna --"

"Push it now or Larry gets it!" Lyn threatened, holding the eyeliner pen up between three fingers and preparing to snap it in half.

"… You're a horrible person, you know that, Lyn?"

"Shut up and push the freaking button, Reneey."

"Threatening poor, innocent eyeliners… what kind of person are you!?"

"Reneey, push the button!"

"No!"

"Then I'll break Larry into ten million tiny pieces!"

Lyn's fingers tensed on the eyeliner, and Reneey suddenly yelled "NOOO!" and threw herself over the arm of the chair and at her best friend. The controller went flying against the chair, bounced off onto the floor, and was promptly pounded with the full weight of both Lyn Elumo and Reneey Umbra as the older girl lost both her balance and her grip on the eyeliner pen.

"HA!" Reneey yelled triumphantly as she stood up, her eyeliner smudged and her hair tousled, but Larry the eyeliner pen gripped tightly in her hand.

"Get off my leg before I break yours!" Lyn threatened from the floor.

"I'm not moving! I don't have to do anything! I HAVE LARRY BACK!" Reneey jumped off of Lyn's leg and started bouncing around the room for a moment before finally coming to a stop and staring at the television screen. "… Uh… Lynni? Is it supposed to be doing that?"

Lyn straightened up and brushed her long, dark brown hair back out of her face so that she could see the TV… and froze. The screen was flashing red, green, yellow, and purple, and strange white glowing things kept randomly drifting across it. A low keen not unlike a cross between the sound of a can opener and a low-flying jet was being emitted from the speakers.

"… I'm gonna kill you, Reneey…"

"Your fault!" Reneey objected, then stood up on her tiptoes to look at the television properly. "But lookit! It's preeetttyyy!"

"Get away from it before you break it more!"

"But I wanna touch it!"

"I'll break your fingers off!"

"But I wannaaaaa!"

"Reneey!" Lyn went to smack her friend's hand away from the TV screen, but it was too little, too late. Reneey's metallic green fingernail hit the television screen at the same time Lyn's hand hit Reneey's arm.

"Wheee!" Reneey squealed, then suddenly began giggling madly.

Lyn made a 'why-the-crap-do-I-put-up-with-you?' face and whacked her upside the head. However, Reneey chose that moment to lose her balance and fall backward… and topple off a ledge!? Since when was there a ledge in Lyn's room!?

"Holy crap!" Lyn yelled, reaching out to grab Reneey's hand and keep her from sliding off the edge of the cliff that had spontaneously appeared. Actually, now that she looked around… no, it couldn't be!

Reneey's weight nearly yanked Lyn's arm out of socket, but she managed to hold on. However, her black leather boots were suddenly slipping on the rocky ground as she fought to keep her footing. Dadburn it, why had she picked today to wear these evil inventions called shoes!?

… Well, duh. Because she hadn't known that Reneey messing up her PlayStation would somehow result in the two of them winding up on a rocky mountain ledge and falling to their deaths.

Lyn had half expected for Reneey to yell 'Wheee!' again as they slid off the ledge and tumbled down the side of the mountain, but that was probably a stupid thought. The general gist of what Reneey yelled was 'Ow,' because the trip down was even less fun than the idea of breaking Larry the eyeliner pen.

"If we -- augh -- get out of this -- alive -- I swear -- I'm killing you!" Lyn somehow managed to threaten while tumbling down the incline.

Reneey started to answer, but before she could do so, the fall suddenly ended and she skidded to a halt on her side just inches away from another solid wall of mountain. Lyn wasn't so lucky; she landed flat on her back and proceeded to shred the skin on the rocks before crashing into Reneey and knocking them both into the stone.

"Owww," Reneey complained from where he was smushed against the rock.

"You're telling me," Lyn groaned as she rolled over onto her stomach and pushed herself up. "That… was not fun."

"Not my fault!" Reneey put in quickly.

It was very predictable, what Lyn did next: drew back her hand and whacked Reneey upside the head.

Reneey's reaction, too, could easily have been told beforehand: she cursed and threw eyeliner.

In the ensuing battle of yelling, kicking, whacking, and throwing of random objects, it was no surprise that neither girl heard the footsteps as someone approached. However, Lyn heard the voice as it asked slowly, "Uh… do you two… need help, or something?"

Lyn turned to glare at whoever had interrupted their impromptu argument and promptly stopped dead in her tracks. She found herself staring at a guy who was actually a bit shorter than her, especially with two-and-a-half-or-so-inch the heels on her boots that put her near six feet, but whose blond hair was so spiky that it just about made their heights look equal. His eyes had a strange sort of glow to them, but by the annoyed expression on his face and the look in the brown eyes of the woman behind him, it was pretty obvious that she was the one who really wanted to ask that question and had just talked him into doing it.

"… Holy… freaking… crap," was all that Lyn managed to choke out.

Reneey just blinked, cocked her head to the side as she stared at the guy, and suddenly asked, "Can I poke your hair?"


	2. Fire

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or any of its characters. I do, however, own Lyn, and Reneey belongs to Reneey Umbra.

A/N: I wasn't really expecting reviews, so I'm seriously psyched that the first chap got nine of them! Reviews rock muchly. And make me happy. :D Anyway, this chap was fun to write (once I actually got out from beneath my pile of assignments and tests, anyway), but I'm seriously looking forward to the next one. You'll see why soon. XD

Thanks to **Reneey Umbra**, **SilverDeathAngel**, **Fire's Serenade**, **WinchesterFan**, **twilight-yuna17**, **pointedancer4**, **MadAboutMaddi**, **lilypop8**, and **FifthDayOfMay** for reviewing!

**Chapter Two – That Which Should Have a Corny Title Relating to Fire**

"Uh… what?" the spiky-headed guy asked, looking confused and as if he thought he was wasting his time here. Which probably was what he was thinking, Lyn thought as she blinked at him and tried to remember how to speak. Unfortunately, though, Reneey recovered first.

"Can I poke your hair!?" she repeated, standing up on her tiptoes and reaching toward him, which caused him to take a step backward and nearly trample the brunette woman behind him. "Pleeease! I wanna poke it!"

"Knock it off!" Lyn hissed, whacking at Reneey's hand, which earned her a glare and a death threat, but she didn't care. What the crap was going on here, anyway!?

"Um, was there something wrong?" asked a pretty brunette woman who was dressed in a long pink dress as she looked concernedly at Reneey and Lyn.

"Uh… can you… stay right there… for one second?" Lyn asked slowly, trying to figure out how the crap she could get Reneey alone for a few minutes to tell her to keep her dadgum mouth shut.

"Um, sure?" the woman in pink agreed, blinking.

"Thanks – just one second, I swear," Lyn said, then grabbed hold of Reneey's sleeve and dragged her a few feet away. Then she thought about Red XIII and his cat-hearing and dragged Reneey even further, until they were just close enough that they could be sure nobody walked off and left them.

"Stop trying to poke Cloud's hair!" Lyn hissed, glaring at her friend.

Reneey blinked. "I'm not trying to poke a cloud!"

Lyn planted her palm in the middle of her forehead. "No! That guy, his name is Cloud! Do not poke him!"

Again, Reneey blinked. "How do you know?"

For a moment, Lyn debated not telling Reneey what was going on. But then again, it was entirely her fault, with the random hitting of buttons and doing whatever the heck she had done to the PlayStation. She should have to know what was going on, because she had caused it!

"I know because he's Cloud Strife," Lyn finally explained. "And Cloud Strife is the freaking main character on Final Fantasy 7!"

Reneey blinked and then asked, "You mean I can actually pronounce a character's name!?"

Lyn face-palmed again and growled, "Focus, here! We can worry about your Uzbekistani accent later. The point I'm trying to make is that _we're in Final Fantasy seven_!"

"… So isn't that hot guy with the white hair in this game?"

"… Trust you to remember the villains… Yes, Sephiroth is in this game. No, you cannot poke him."

"Why not!?" Reneey demanded, crossing her arms and glaring.

"Because he'll cut your head off for looking in his general direction, much less poking him!" Lyn said exasperatedly.

Reneey was about to argue when a woman's voice objected, "Cloud, we can't leave them – the younger one can't be more than fourteen!"

"Hey!" Reneey yelled, going into annoyed mode at once. "I'm not a kid!"

"And _I'm_ a teenager, too!" cried a petite girl from the other group who was dressed like a ninja. "And I may be sixteen, but we all know I can take care of myself!"

Cloud looked skeptical at that pronouncement. "Yuffie, you almost fell down the canyon in Corel because you wouldn't stop jumping around on all the junk metal."

"So!?" she huffed, walking toward him with a glare on her face as she raised her shuriken. "I didn't!"

"I believe that was because you nearly tore my tail off in the attempt to refrain from doing so," pointed out a low growl of a voice as Red XIII took a step forward and cocked his head to one side.

Reneey's eyes went wide as they landed on the form of the giant red feline with his fiery tail, but just as he was going to say not to worry because he wouldn't hurt her, Reneey squealed, "Awesome! A giant talking cat! Lynni, you never told me there were giant talking cats!"

Lyn slammed her palm into her forehead and Red XIII blinked in surprise. "You are not afraid of me?" he asked with such wonderment in his voice that he sounded like he almost couldn't believe what he was saying.

"Why should I be?" Reneey asked, and then grinned hugely. "Morodashi is a flesh-eating kitty and Eris tries to kill people!"

Her tone was almost proud, and Lyn sighed heavily. "They're housecats," she objected, rolling her eyes. "They're not going to kill anybody."

"Well, you claim Gobble tried to kill you!" Reneey argued.

"And she did," Lyn said, shrugging. "What can I say? She was an evil genius cat that way."

Reneey suddenly broke into giggles. "That rhymed! Lynni's a poet and she didn't know it!"

"… Dude, I placed in an adult's poetry competition when I was seven," Lyn recanted. "I think I knew it. And that wasn't a poem. That wasn't even a limerick, for heaven's sake."

"… Are they for real?" Barrett muttered to Cloud – well, more like half yelled, because Barrett's really incapable of being quiet. But it's not like Lyn or Reneey noticed, anyway, because they just kept arguing.

"I don't know," Cloud said, looking very much like he resented Tifa for making them stop and talk to these insane girls. As if it wasn't bad enough that they were going back to Nibelheim, they had to pick up stray brats to protect, too?

"OW!" Reneey suddenly yelled, breaking into Cloud's train of thought. It took only a moment to figure out what had happened, because there was a huge red welt forming on the palm of her hand and Red XIII was flicking his tail indignantly even while somehow managing to look apologetic.

"It burnsss!" Reneey complained, waving her hand around in the air as if to cool it. "Lynniiii, make it stooopp!"

"What the freaking crap is wrong with you!?" Lyn demanded, glaring at her friend instead of looking sympathetic. "Why did you just touch the tip of his tail!?"

"Because it's pretty and shiny, but it burns!" Reneey wailed.

"It's on fire!" Lyn yelled in her best this-is-obvious voice.

Reneey pouted, cradling her burned hand, and grumbled, "So?"

"SO IT'S GONNA BURN, YOU DADBURNED IMBECILE!"

"Well, if every monster in the mountains ain't heard us already, maybe we oughta light a flare and make sure the rest of 'em know?" Barrett growled in annoyance.

"Oh, you're no quieter than she is," Aeris contradicted, then stepped forward and reached out toward Reneey. "Let me see your hand," she said gently. "I can fix it."

"I want Lynni to fix it," Reneey objected, pulling her hand away.

"Yes, because I generally carry around a first aid kit in my left sock," Lyn said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Just let her do it."

"But I don't wanna!"

"I'll tell your fortune for free if you do!" announced an overly cheery, somewhat mechanical-sounding voice as Cait Sith jumped forward. Well, more like the enchanted stuffed Mog which he stood on top of jumped forward… but, well, same difference.

"What the heck are you?" Reneey demanded, blinking.

If Red XIII had been an anime character, he would have sweatdropped just then. "You're afraid of him but you're not afraid of me?"

"I'm not afraid of anybody!" Reneey countered. "'Cause if ya do anything, Lynni'll kick your butt."

"Then let me help your hand," Aeris repeated, still in the same soft tone. It kind of made Reneey want to slap her and tell her to stop acting like such a stereotypical female video game character, but she grimaced and held out her hand, anyway.

"No freaking," Lyn muttered under her breath so that only Reneey could hear it, and that was all the warning that there was before Aeris chanted something mostly inaudible under her breath and cast Cure1.

Reneey blinked. Then she moved her fingers and realized that her hand didn't hurt anymore. Then she blinked again.

Then she looked up at Aeris and asked, "So, can you do other glowy sparkly things?"


	3. Vampires!

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or any of its characters. I do, however, own Lyn, and Reneey belongs to Reneey Umbra.

A/N: Okay so I haven't updated this or anything else in a while… but it's seriously not my fault. I have no home internet anymore. -sweatdrop- This is what I get for living out in the boondocks where there is no wireless. -sigh- But yeah. I'll try to post up what I can from school, but I don't know how that's going to work out just yet.

If you can't tell, I really loved writing this chapter. XD And not just because of who shows up in it. Though that does play a part. -shifty eyes-

**SilverDeathAngel** – Yes, Reneey is a real person; and no, she isn't stupid. She's random and she doesn't consider consequences sometimes before acting. That doesn't make her an idiot, just extremely awesome.

And on a related note…

Reneey: Hello, peoples! So I have this idea for a little contest for all of you readers. So the contest is this: Who can draw the best scene from any of mine and Lyn's fanfics? In case you don't know them all, here they are:

We're Not In A Fanfic (Yu-Gi-Oh!)  
TV's Are Starting to Revolt (Yu Yu Hakusho)  
Eating Food From Bleach (Bleach, obviously)  
The Dark Shards (Inuyasha)  
Is Blood Thicker Than Water? (Vampire Knight)  
Shinigami, Fangirls, Detectives, Killers, Oh My! (Death Note)  
Wristbands (Naruto)  
Hellions Break Loose (Supernatural)  
and A World Apart (Final Fantasy 7) -- on Lyn's fanfiction account, if you haven't read it

What I mean by scenes is that you can draw Lyn getting mad at Reneey for cursing out Seto in We're Not in a Fanfic!, Hiei kidnapping Reneey and Lyn from TVs Are Starting to Revolt, or any other scene from any of our fanfics listed above.

Here's how you must enter: You send me a PM or an email (you can find it on my profile) with the LINK of your picture. It can be photobucket, deviantArt, whatever. AS LONG AS IT'S A LINK AND NOT A FILE!

Use this form:

Username:  
What story did you pick?:  
What characters are in it?:  
What's happening in the picture?:

The deadline is May 30th; the winner will be announced on June 10th.

AND THE PRIZE! (Insert flashing lights and all that pretty shiny stuff here)  
The winner will get a sneak peek into our upcoming Elfen Lied, Code Geass, Full Metal Alchemist, and Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfics as well as a special treat from each of us. I will do a dedicated AMV, and Lyn is too indecisive to decide on one thing so she's said she'll do a sketch, edit it with Paint Shop Pro if you want, random abstract on PSP, do a new humor avatar, make an AMV, write a oneshot -- basically it's your call. Yes that's right, folks! Six prizes for one little fanart! Think you're up to it!?

Second place will get to pick a prize from either me or Lyn and choose two of those four sneak peeks, so basically you get half the first place prize. And for third there will be an award of one sneak peek. And if you respond to our sneak peeks with comments, you'll get mentioned and/or quoted in the author's note of the first chapter of that fic when it's posted!!!

Oh and you might want to check out our deviantArt to see our stuff before you decide what you want for a prize -- Lyn's is LadyOfRandomness(dot)deviantart(dot)com and mine's ReneeyUmbra(dot)deviantart(dot)com so check us out!

**Chapter Three – Vampires! (No, Not the MySpace Game)**

It was a little while before Lyn was able to convince Reneey to be slightly less random and insane and they finally moved on with the trek to Nibelheim. So why were Lyn and Reneey with them? Well, simple: because they were walking in the same direction. And that's really all there was to it, as far as Cloud was concerned.

In Reneey's opinion? She was going wherever the heck Lyn was going. Why? Because she had no idea what the crap was going on. Now she knew how Lyn felt when Reneey had forced her to join Naruto RPG boards and stuff Lyn knew nothing about…

As for Lyn, she was already dead-set on going with the others. After all, how much fun would it be to get left out of a battle for the world? Not to mention the awesome characters, the fighting, the magic, the explosions… and the awesome characters. But that's a story for another day.

Actually, as it turned out, it was a story for this day after all. Upon finding Nibelheim restored, Tifa and Cloud went through the shock phase that Lyn, at least, had seen a hundred times. Really, this was why people didn't get sucked into video games more often, she decided: hearing the same lines over and over was bound to drive you crazy eventually.

On the plus side, being in Nibelheim meant the Shinra mansion was right here and –

"That place gives me the willies," Barrett said, frowning at the building Lyn had just been thinking of.

"It's the Shinra mansion," Cloud explained. "People from Shinra lived there long ago, so the villagers gave it that name."

"It looks kind of like the type of place Dracula would live," Reneey said, looking at it in awe. There was a moment's pause, then: "Let's go!"

"What?" Cloud asked, staring at her. "You can't go in there – it was dangerous enough years ago. God only knows what's in there now!"

"Ooh, maybe there _are_ vampires!" Reneey squealed, her brown eyes going wide as saucers before she turned them on Lyn. "Lynni, are there vampires in there!?"

"Of course there aren't vampires in there," Lyn said in her trademark this-is-obvious voice. "Does this look like Transylvania or Italy or Forks or something?"

"Well, I wanna go anyway," Reneey declared, crossing her arms and looking like she was ready to pout until she got her way.

"I didn't say I don't wanna go," Lyn corrected. "I said there are no vampires."

"You'll get yourself killed if you go in there!" Cloud repeated emphatically, glaring at them both.

"Why is that, because we're _girls_?" Lyn growled, standing up to her full height, which happened to be about two inches greater than his (minus the spiky hair), and glaring right back.

"No, because you have no weapons!"

"Right," Lyn said, pretending to look at a loss. "I've only been getting in fights since I was five, taken kickboxing, isshinryu karate, elements of jiu-jitsu – you're completely right, I have absolutely no way of defending myself whatsoever. I totally need a sword that's as freaking tall as I am in order to walk into an abandoned building."

There was a ringing silence during which Lyn and Cloud glared daggers at each other; then Reneey and Barrett simultaneously burst out laughing.

"The girl's got you there," Barrett choked out. "Man, ain't seen anything that funny since your spiky butt's been around."

Lyn smirked and grabbed Reneey's arm and started to drag her toward the Shinra mansion. "Whatever. Reneey and I are gonna go explore and see if we can find out if there's any truth in the rumors that there's somebody in the basement, see y'all people later."

Cloud froze. "… Somebody like who…?"

At just that moment, a guy in a black cloak fell over somewhere nearby. I mean, come on, dude can only stand there so long before he dies whether you talk to him or not – seriously!

"Urgh… the great… Sephi…roth…"

"Yes, I have heard he's there," Lyn agreed without stopping.

Cloud looked at the man in black. Then he looked at Lyn. Then he looked at the others, who were watching him expectantly. Then he growled and started after her.

"But I'm not going just to keep you two safe!"

"Ooh, nice cast-iron gates and barred windows and cobwebs and everything!" Reneey said happily as they walked inside. "… You sure there are no vampires?"

Lyn sighed heavily. "For the last time, yes, I'm sure! … Now, c'mon, we need to go open a safe."

Cloud stared. "What?"

"Uhh… there's a materia in it!"

"MATERIA!?" Yuffie shrieked. "Cloud, we have to go!"

"What? Why do we need more materia?"

"Because you can always use more materia!" Yuffie cried. Then she looked at Lyn and asked in a half breathless voice, "What kind of materia is it!?"

"A summon materia!" Lyn announced, and then Yuffie promptly grabbed Cloud's and Aeris's arms and started dragging them forward.

"We're coming!"

"Upstairs!" Lyn ordered, following suit and dragging Reneey, who promptly kicked Lyn in the shins and made her let go.

"You know where it is?" Tifa asked, blinking. "Have you been here before?"

"Oh, I've heard," Lyn said lightly as they came into the safe room. "All right!"

"But how are you going to open it?" Yuffie asked slowly. "I don't know how to pick something like that."

"I can shoot it open!" Barrett volunteered.

"Or I can put in the combination," Lyn said with a what-the-heck-is-with-you-people look.

"You know the combination?" Cloud repeated skeptically.

"Yep! Right 36, left 10, right 59, right 97!" Lyn quoted from memory.

"… How do you know all this?"

"Oh, I know this guy who's a treasure hunter," Lyn said with a smirk, secretly referencing Locke from the previous Final Fantasy game.

"Something feels funny about this," Red XIII said slowly, but Lyn was already halfway through the combination. And then the second she finished it and the door swung open, out popped a tremendous boss that roared and cast a fire spell toward Cloud.

"What the heck is that thing!?" Barrett yelled as he opened fire.

"Lost Number," Lyn informed him. "Okay, here's the deal! Aeris, Seal Evil! Everybody else, magic on the purple side and direct attacks on the red side, all right?"

"How do you –"

"I just freaking do, deal with it!"

When Lost Number was finally defeated, Cloud growled in anger and glared at Lyn. "What is wrong with you!? You didn't see fit to mention that there's a _thirty-foot monster_ who comes out of that thing!?"

"Well, no," Lyn said, blinking. "I mean, it's not like you wouldn't have found out the hard way once Yuffie decided to open it, anyway."

"… That's not the freaking point!"

"Anyway, who cares?" Lyn asked, picking up the basement key. "This is what's important!"

"Not as important as the materia!" Yuffie declared, picking it up.

"What's this?" Red XIII mumbled, nudging the instructions for Cosmo Memory.

"You'll get it later," Lyn said, shrugging. "Anyway! To the basement!"

Barrett stared as she dragged Reneey out of the room again. "… Is there something wrong with that girl?"

"Where would he be…?" Cloud murmured as they descended the staircase. "Last time he was…"

Lyn grabbed his arm to keep him from walking on to the library. "Hey look a locked door!" she said pointedly. "And we got a key in the safe! Which means we need to open it!"

"And get attacked by another thirty-foot monster? No thanks!"

"There aren't any monsters in here!" Lyn said, rolling her eyes. "Come on, I swear, nothing dangerous!"

"Then why do you want to go in?" Cloud asked suspiciously.

"Because I do dadburn it!"

"… Dadburn?" Cloud repeated, blinking.

Lyn sighed, unlocked the door, and shoved it open. "Oh look it's open there you go Cloud!" And so she promptly shoved him inside where he lost his balance, tripped, and knocked the lid off of one of the coffins.

Vincent sat up, scowling, and growled, "Who –"

And then he was promptly interrupted by Reneey screaming, "VAMPIRES!"


	4. Walking on Eggshells

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or any of its characters. I do, however, own Lyn, and Reneey belongs to Reneey Umbra.

A/N: Yes, I update! :O Imagine that! Oh, and if you don't get the chapter title, it's what I think Sephiroth's weird little style of walking looks like. XD Just another random glimpse into my mind that you sometimes get by reading these fics. :P

**Chapter Four – Walking on Eggshells**

Lyn whacked Reneey upside the head and glared. "He is not a vampire!"

"He's a random pale guy with red eyes who just sat up out of a coffin – if he's not a vampire, then Dracula was just a harmless count, Edward just liked to take baths in body glitter and Lestat was just a fashionable Frenchman!"

"I'll go over all the things wrong with that statement later," Lyn said after a moment's pause, "but for now, trust me on this: he is not a vampire!"

"How do you know?!"

Lyn sighed exasperatedly and looked at Vincent. "Are you a vampire?"

Vincent stared. "No…"

"There!" Lyn said, throwing her hands up in the air. "See?!"

"Right, because if he was a vampire and wanted to kill us all in our sleep, he would totally admit to being a vampire when we asked if he was one to make sure he wouldn't kill us in our sleep!"

"I'm the one who was sleeping here!" Vincent interrupted with a glare. "What are all of you people doing in here?"

"Hey, she shoved me!" Cloud objected from where he was picking himself up off the floor.

"And it worked, didn't it?!" Lyn huffed, crossing her arms. "I mean, if you didn't want to see the awesome room with the coffins –"

"And the vampire!" Reneey interrupted.

"He is not a vampire!" Lyn objected for what felt like the ten millionth time.

Vincent was trying not to twitch. I mean, all these years he had been in this basement it had never been this noisy! Sighing heavily, he shook his head. "Look, kid –"

Instantly, all hell broke loose. Yuffie threw her shuriken, Reneey threw eyeliner, and Lyn objected loudly, "I am not a freaking kid!"

"Just for that comment, you're on your own with calming them down," Lyn added, crossing her arms and glaring.

"Oh, good lord, we're all gonna die," Barrett groaned as Vincent took cover behind the coffin. "Jus' say you're sorry already!"

A low growling sound started to come from behind the coffin and Lyn promptly tackled both Reneey and Yuffie to the floor. "Uh, guys? Yeah… Let's not push him into a limit break, okay? Baaaddd idea."

Reneey blinked. "What the heck is a limit break?"

"Let's just go!" Cloud yelled exasperatedly. "We're supposed to be looking for Sephiroth, remember?!"

Lyn suddenly snickered. "You know, it would be really funny if –"

"Well, well… it's been a long time."

Lyn was then very glad she was already pinning Reneey to the ground because it suddenly became much harder as the other girl squealed and tried her hardest to get up and get herself killed attempting to tackle hug the insane mass murderer in the doorway.

"Sephhhyyy!"

Everyone, with the exception of Lyn because she was used to this and Vincent and Sephiroth because they were all cool-and-emotionless, stared at Reneey like she was insane. "_Sephy_?"

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed. "My name is –"

"Yeah, see, about that," Lyn interrupted, trying not to snicker as she sat on top of her shorter friend to hold her down. "Reneey has this Russian-slash-Uzbekistani accent… She can't pronounce your name. Even if she tried. It took her two years to figure out how to say MY first name."

And, for some bizarre reason, Sephiroth didn't then proceed to kill Reneey for calling him Sephy or Lyn for interrupting him. Actually, he didn't proceed to do anything at all except tilt his head a little to one side and raise a thin silver eyebrow.

Lyn looked uncomfortable. "Uh… Why are you staring at me like my cat stares at me when I wear a skirt right before he attacks it because it moves when I walk?"

And that kind of was what Sephiroth looked like, actually. Not particularly murderous – or, well, as un-murderous-looking as Sephiroth ever got – and almost… curious?

His voice was low but less threatening than before as he asked, "Do I… know you…?"

"Uh, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and go with no?" Lyn responded, her eyes going shifty as they switched from his expression to the Masamune at his side to looking for something she might possibly be able to use as a weapon. Dang it, where were her sai or tonfa when she needed them?

"Hm… you two… you don't belong here, do you?" Sephiroth continued, still in that creepy-as-heck thoughtful voice, now switching that curious look to Reneey instead.

So naturally Lyn went into overprotective back-the-heck-off-my-friend mode, yanked Reneey to her feet then took a protective stance in front of her. "You're the one who's supposed to be in the library down there messing with Cloud's head," she shot back with a glare. "The heck do you mean, _we_ don't belong here?"

And that's when it started to get really creepy: Sephiroth's eyes started glowing and that really crooked smile like Kadaj had in Advent Children crossed his face. Probably what made it creepier was the fact that this was _Sephiroth_, not Kadaj.

"Okay, who hit the Make-Sephiroth-look-more-psychotic-than-usual button?" Lyn asked with a raised eyebrow. "Cloud? Tifa? Anybody wanna own up?"

"But he looks hot like that!" Reneey complained.

Lyn shook her head. "We'll go over all the things wrong with _that_ statement later, too. In the meantime, no attempting to hug the villain guy!"

Reneey pouted but obeyed and fortunately Cloud took this as an excuse to interrupt. "What are you doing here, Sephiroth?!"

"Reading," Sephiroth said coolly without taking his eyes off the two girls. "There are a lot of notes in those old books… a lot of things you can't find out except by reading them…"

Lyn begged to differ because people who played Final Fantasy 7 found out basically what the books said without having to read them all but she said nothing. Yet she couldn't shake this creepy feeling that Sephiroth knew she was thinking it anyway.

For a moment, Lyn wasn't sure if Sephiroth was about to break the entire canon course of events or what the heck was going on but finally he fell back into dialogue with Cloud and Lyn relaxed her stance a little. The flipping heck was all of that about?

"So what happens next?" Reneey whispered.

"We get to go climb some more mountains," Lyn murmured back out of the corner of her mouth so no one could read her lips. "Won't _that_ be fun?"

"If I fall off again, I'm taking you with me."

"What, you mean like you did last time?"

"Shut up!" Reneey paused then asked hopefully, "So does Sexy Sephy come with?"

Lyn sighed exasperatedly. "Would you get over your obsession with the guy who wants to destroy the world?"

"Who wants to destroy the world?"

Lyn literally jumped at the voice that spoke up about three inches from her ear. Then a tinge of color rose in her cheekbones as she realized who it belonged to. Then that color drained as she realized she had no idea how long the speaker had been listening.

"Well, Sephiroth, obviously," Lyn said, trying to remember exactly what she had said. "I mean, isn't it obvious by now that he hates everything…?"

Vincent's crimson eyes glowed faintly as they fixed on her and they gave off a feeling of piercing to the soul. Somehow it was less creepy than when he did it than when it was Sephiroth looking at her like that, though.

"Uh… Why are you staring at me like that?" she finally asked after he didn't say anything for a few seconds.

"Because I don't think you're telling me everything you know."

"You wanna know everything I know?" Lyn asked, arching an eyebrow. "All right, well, when I was born –"

"Oh, not the stories of how many times you've almost died, please, Lyn!" Reneey groaned. "I swear if you start that speech again, I'm gonna tackle Sephy for real and see if he kills me or not."

"Would you quit calling the insane murderer Sephy!" Lyn said exasperatedly.

"… So then can I call him Vampi?"

Vincent didn't exactly glare but his eyes hardened and his voice went a half step closer to a growl. "My name is Vincent."

"Oh!" Reneey said, grinning. "So Vinnie, then!"

Before Vincent had a chance to twitch and turn into the Galian Beast, Cloud promptly grabbed one of Lyn's arms and one of Reneey's and started dragging them away. "Come on – we're going after Sephiroth.

Lyn promptly shoved the inside of his arm and, much to his surprise, her arm came out of his grip. One of the many wonders of martial arts training was knowing exactly how to escape from various holds with minimal effort.

"I can walk, thanks," she growled in annoyance. "And I thought you wanted us gone?" She paused, then blinked. "Wait… Did we miss the whole thing with Sephiroth?"

Reneey just giggled and let him drag her because she didn't have to worry about walking that way. "Byeee, Vampi Vinnie!"


	5. Reneey's Big Decision

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or any of its characters. I do, however, own Lyn, and Reneey belongs to Reneey Umbra.

A/N: Holy crap, two updates in one day?! Well, I realized after I posted chapter 4 that it's the birthday of this fic! So, naturally, I just had to do something special. Like posting two chapters in one day! … Sorry if this one's crap, btw. XD This is what happens when I try to do that.

**Chapter Five – Reneey's Big Decision**

"Okay, if he's not a vampire, why does he have glowing red eyes, pale skin, black hair, clothes that look like they've been attacked by moths, and oh yeah SLEEP IN A COFFIN?!"

If Vincent had a lesser degree of control, he probably would have used his limit break by now and ripped the girl's tongue out. If it wasn't bad enough that she insisted he was a vampire but she kept calling him "Vampi Vinnie." No one in his entire life had called him Vinnie and he was not about to start letting them.

Although he wasn't quite sure how the other girl seemed to know so much about him, either. Just as the one called Reneey was annoying, the one called Lyn was… strange. And that was coming from Vincent and when Vincent Valentine is calling you strange, there's something really, really off about you.

Exactly how she seemed to know things he wasn't sure but he intended to find out. That was most of the reason he was even on this little excursion. If Lyn knew something about Sephiroth, that might mean…

But no, he was being stupid. Lucrecia was gone and there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing anyone could do about it. But he had let her go through with it and so he was also partly responsible… responsible for what came of it and what would happen because of that, no matter how much he wanted to deny it all…

"So you're _really_ not a vampire?"

Vincent blinked and looked down. He hadn't even noticed Reneey as she walked up, probably because he was so lost in thought and she was about a foot shorter than him.

"No," he said stiffly. "I'm not."

"Well, I guess I believe you," Reneey said, crossing her arms. "But not because you said so! Only because Lynni does."

"And why would you believe her? She just met me."

"Because Lynni knows," Reneey said simply, shrugging as if this were the only possible answer. And really it was; Vincent just had to figure out why. Well, the most direct way _was_ to ask.

"And how does she know?"

"If I knew, then I would know, duh!" Reneey said in a this-is-obvious voice. Then, before Vincent had a chance to say anything more, she yelled, "Lynni! Vampi Vinnie wants to talk to you!"

Vincent felt like hitting his head on something. "I thought we had agreed that I am _not_ a vampire."

"Eh, it's too fun to call you that," Reneey said with a grin before running off to annoy Red XIII about the earlier burning-her-hand-on-his-tail incident as Lyn came over and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Reneey yells that you wanted something?"

Vincent sighed mentally. Why had he tried to talk to Reneey again? Obviously she wasn't going to tell him anything important and Lyn would just evade him like she had earlier.

A few feet away, Reneey could be heard arguing with Cloud about whether Mako was a source of magic or a freaky fish guy. How she had gotten into an argument that quickly was anyone's guess. Maybe she just had talent that way.

"Uh, Vincent?" Lyn asked when he said nothing. "Did you want something or what?"

Vincent stared at her for a second longer. "Would you tell me if I asked you?"

"Um, maybe?" Lyn guessed with a raised eyebrow. "What am I, a Magic 8 Ball? How am I supposed to know what I'll say before I know what the question is?"

"… How do you know what Sephiroth wants? How do you know anything about me? How do you know anything you know, for that matter?"

Lyn smiled awkwardly. "Uh… Signs are foggy, ask again later?"

Vincent was about to ask what in the world that was supposed to mean but fortunately, Tifa chose that moment to gasp. "Oh! Look at that!"

Cloud dodged the eyeliner Reneey was currently throwing at him for whatever reason and growled, "If it's more teenagers, we're pushing them off the mountain this time."

"Hey, you were a teenager once, too, Chocobo Head," Lyn retorted. "Anyway, how are we anything worse than the little materia ninja over there?"

"Uh, what, now?" Yuffie asked, putting on her best innocent look but secretly thinking something along the lines of, _Oh crap oh crap oh crap, how did she know?! Did I try to rob her before?! Think, who have I tried to rob or robbed successfully in the past year…_

Cloud, on the other hand, ignored that part of the sentence and merely pointed at Reneey and growled, "_She_ might even be worse than _Sephiroth_! And I don't even know how that's possible!"

"Stop arguing and _look_!" Tifa repeated, pointing at something glowing in front of them.

"A Mako fountain," Cloud observed in a bored-sounding voice.

"Hey!" Reneey piped up. "Lookit, Lynni! It looks just like what the TV screen did when we crushed the game thingy!"

"Yeah, right before we _fell off the cliff_," Lyn added with a sideways glare at her best friend.

"… Well, you shouldn't have threatened Larry!"

"Who's Larry?" Aeris asked, blinking innocently.

"My eyeliner pen!" Reneey said triumphantly, putting a hand in her pocket then pulling out… a piece of lint? She blinked and tried again but this time she only found a paper clip. "The heck did that get in there? And _where's Larry_?!"

"Maybe you dropped him?" Lyn asked, shrugging. "It's just an eyeliner pen, Rea…"

"No! Larry is a part of me! Larry is special! Larry is important! We have to go back!"

Cloud stared. "Are you insane?!"

"Larry!" Reneey wailed. "If Larry's lost, we have to go find him! Wouldn't you want us to come find you if you go lost?!"

"I didn't want to find _you_ in the first place!" Cloud said impatiently. "If we go back, we'll lose Sephiroth's trail and there's no telling when or if we'll be able to find him again – do you really want that on your conscience?"

"I don't have a conscience," Reneey said, rolling her eyes. "But… well… I don't wanna lose Sexy Sephy… But Larry…"

"Well, then you have to pick, Rea," Lyn said, shrugging but trying her best to look sympathetic. "Which is more important?"

"They're both important!"

"But you can't do both," Lyn reasoned. "Think about it, Rea: you can get another eyeliner pen. You can name it Moe or Curly or whatever else if you want. But even if you go back, there's no guarantee you'll find Larry."

Reneey pouted and sniffled. "But Larry… This is all your fault for threatening to break him in half!" she suddenly accused and proceeded to throw one of her spare cell phones at Lyn who caught it three inches from her face.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Lyn said soothingly. "But don't throw your phones. You know anything that hits my head will break into fourteen thousand tiny pieces because my head's made of solid concrete."

Reneey sniffled again but also giggled softly then hugged her friend tightly. Lyn sighed lightly and announced, "Okay, people, crisis averted."

"For you, maybe," Cloud grumbled. "I still have to be followed around by a hyperactive kid."

"Hey!" Yuffie objected. "Who are you calling hyperactive?!"

Cloud just made a sound that seemed oddly close to a half-choked plea for help and kept walking up the mountain path.


End file.
